If needed, share your view of things in a noncombative way. If appropriate, reengage with the person who shared the feedback and acknowledge what you heard, what you accept, and what you commit to do. Look for truth rather than defensively poking holes in the feedback. This animated Crucial Conversations summary will teach you the communication skills you need for that next ultra-important conversation in your life. Take a time-out if needed to recover emotionally and process what you’ve heard. Detach yourself from what is being said as though it is being said about a third person. AccessAPN is a subscription-based resource from McGraw Hill that features trusted medical content from the best minds in medicine. Breathe deeply, name your emotions, and present yourself with soothing truths that establish your safety and worth. Read chapter 10 of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, 3e online now, exclusively on AccessAPN. Then use four skills to manage how you address the information others share: 1. “Retake your pen” by taking steps to secure your safety and affirm your worth. When you find yourself reacting to hard feedback, remind yourself that your reaction is largely within your control. When you do differ significantly, don’t suggest others are wrong. In our full Crucial Conversations summary, we’ll explain how to break down your goals and re-examine your motives, to refocus on what truly matters. If others leave something out, agree where you share views then build. Take your best guess at what they may be thinking and feeling. As others begin to share part of their story, restate what you’ve heard to show not just that you understand, but also that it’s safe for others to share what they’re thinking. Crucial Conversation: A discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong (p. Increase safety by respectfully acknowledging the emotions people appear to be feeling. Start by simply expressing interest in the other person’s views. The first of the Crucial Conversations 7 principles is to know your heart. Using these main principles, you can use crucial conversations skills to form better dialogues and communication channels. Then use four powerful listening skills to retrace the other person’s Path to Action to its origins: The Crucial Conversations 7 principles aren’t hard to understand. Start with an attitude of curiosity and patience. To encourage the free flow of meaning and help others leave silence or violence behind, explore their Path to Action.
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